Excerpts from a talk given on Labor Day Weekend, 2012, at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Athens, Ohio.
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| Molly with her newborn daughter |
My name is Molly
Wales. I am the director of The
Birth Circle (a consumer birth group) in Athens, Ohio, and am a BirthWorks
childbirth educator. I’m here
today to talk to you about why I believe that we aren’t doing enough in our
country to honor birth as a peak life experience. Perfect for Labor Day!
A short review
of where I stand: I believe that
all people are deserving of equal treatment and opportunity. I believe that a woman is born with the
knowledge of how to give birth, and that if Mom can give birth with people who
make her feel safe and secure, she’ll be able to follow her instincts and her
body and her baby will know just how to work together. I believe that a woman should have the
right to give birth wherever she pleases, with whomever she pleases. And I believe that birth is a hugely pivotal
moment in life, and that the birth experience has a life-long impact on the
mother, the child, and on their relationship.
These views do
not represent the norm in our society.
Americans, in general, are taught not to trust birth. Many, if not most, fear it. And so we keep developing new ways to
manipulate and change what already works. And as we force our control like
this, the effects are disastrous.
According to a
recent Amnesty International report, “The USA spends more than any other
country on health care, and more on maternal health than any other type of
hospital care. Despite this, women in the USA have a higher risk of dying of
pregnancy-related complications than those in 49 other countries, including
Kuwait, Bulgaria, and South Korea.”
What?! WHAT?! Why is this happening? What has gone wrong with maternity care
in our country?
Imagine a mom
has her first visit with her care provider, be it an OB or midwife. She’s told, “You are capable of having
this baby without drugs. And if
that’s what you choose, we will support you in that. If you or baby needs medical attention, we’ll be here. But otherwise our job is to let your
body do what it was created to do.”
If that were that norm, we wouldn’t be in such a crisis. Rates of intervention would drop
substantially, and our moms and babies would be healthier.
But that isn’t
the kind of support that moms in our country generally receive, unless they
choose a home birth assisted by a midwife. Because OBs and hospital-based midwives work under protocol
and deadlines that rush the process and place little to no value on the
emotional importance of the experience.
Now I don’t mean to say that the OBs and midwives themselves don’t value
the experience, necessarily, but rather that they are put under restraints that
severely limit what they can do to honor birth as normal and natural, and to
work with a mother on her body’s own timeline.
For
example: One of my students
recalled going in for her very first visit with her OB, to talk about her
exciting new pregnancy. The doctor
told her, “You’ll go into labor, you’ll come to the hospital, and we’ll get you
an epidural.” Notice the
commands. Notice the lack of
choice. Notice the complete
failure to acknowledge this mom’s innate ability to give birth to her baby on
her own. In one short sentence,
her power was robbed from her.
Or another
student, who, while having a perfectly normal labor at the hospital, noticed
that everyone in the room kept their eyes fixed on the monitor, telling her
when a contraction was coming, telling her how hard it was…when all she wanted,
needed, was some eye contact, someone to acknowledge that SHE was doing the
work here, and that she was a healthy human mother, not just another illness
hooked up to a machine.
And so most
moms, at least in our country, never get that chance to realize their own
power, that chance to feel accomplished as a mother, right from the very start,
those sensations of labor that combine intense vulnerability with unimaginable
atomic power. When a woman gives
birth naturally, she has to open up, physically and emotionally, to greet her
baby. It is an incredible start to
the mother-child relationship, one of deep bonding, as mom and baby work
together through one of life’s greatest challenges. If we in the U.S., this world power, honored birth as the
baby’s start to life-long mental health, and as the mother’s chance to untap
her human potential, just think of how we could empower whole generations of
women and children. I remember
saying to my little Lola, six short months ago, as I held her there on my
living room floor in the darkness of the morning, “We did it, honey, we did
it!” So she was born into that
joy, that total soul bearing, that pride.
What an advantage for us both. And I am no extraordinary woman. Most healthy women are capable of
having their babies without medical intervention. Now certainly homebirth isn’t the right choice for every
woman, but imagine what a difference that would make, in our country and in the
overall state of our planet, if the majority of mother-baby pairs were trusted,
unrushed, and just given a chance to let their bodies work in their own way.
But they
aren’t. Instead most pregnant
women in the U.S. are highly uninformed.
They are treated as if their pregnancies are an illness. In labor, they
are offered drugs when they should be offered emotional encouragement. And yes, of course, a healthy baby and
healthy mom are the most important things. But they aren’t the ONLY important things. There is a chance there for a peak life
experience, for both mom and baby, a chance for that relationship to begin with
a surge of strength, hormonally and emotionally, that fortifies them for years
to come, if not for their whole lives.
In the end, it’s
all about creating a peaceful world, isn’t it? And where better to start, than our barest beginning.
